Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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