Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
