He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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