I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
a search helicopter?!
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize
