worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
