im six kinds of drunk right now
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
