my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
