3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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