i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize