last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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