Joe is yelling at the trees again.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
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