At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize