honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
