well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
