In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize