Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Im part way to drunk.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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