I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize