Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
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