Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(323): View more from California

Booty call?

(310): View more from California

Dude you don't even follow my twitter

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.

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(801): View more from Utah

Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.

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(845): View more from New York

Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap

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(602): View more from Arizona

You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions

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(904): View more from Florida

way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...

(1-904): View more from Florida

I saved lives by not driving this morning

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(408): View more from California

I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.

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(206): View more from Washington

I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet

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