his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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