god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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