Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Randomize
