just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize