Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
