you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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