I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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