i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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