Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
