i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
