god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
