I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize