So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
