I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
