I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
