Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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