Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
