K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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