If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
try to milk me bitch
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