My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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