I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
