He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Randomize
