Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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