my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
