sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize