i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
