We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
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