People in love make me want to vomit
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
