I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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