i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
