Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
