There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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