just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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