Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
