Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
