Im at strip club and am horny
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
