I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Randomize
