I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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