But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
that's an acceptable place to lick
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
