so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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