this beer tastes like vomit already
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
