im gay
i know
yea but for you.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
